Abashed the Devil Stood,

there are times that I can't believe how fast life can change. Your world can be turned upside down with one statement. Mine was:
Your contract with ************ has been terminated

That's right, they fired me.

Actually, they're fired me about three weeks ago. There really isn't a worse feeling that losing your job; that desperate panic of "what now?" All I could think of was how I did not want to lose my apartment, my credit would be screwed, how the hell was I going to pay for school and my car. There had been some issues the week before, starting with the general manager only giving me 25 hours- he was leaving and a new GM was coming in. I think the old GM talked shit about me, so the new GM was intent on getting rid of me. She apparently smiled when she said that she was going to fire me. They fired me for not following cash procedures. I had a drawer that was short $80. Yes, I messed up, and I understand that. What I really don't understand is since I left, there has been both $225 and $290 missing from both the registers and the safe. And those managers still have their jobs. Nice huh?

But honestly, I'm glad that I'm gone. The only thing that I miss is crew (well, like 4 of them) and one of the managers. I had fallen into a rut where I was comfortable with my job and not trying to advance anywhere. The only thing was now I needed a new job. Luckily, my mother's company was hiring. So now I am working third shift (11pm-7am) at Pep Direct as a Print Operator. I think this will be a good change for me. It's something that at least has something to do with my major, and although it's a $.14 cut in pay, it is guaranteed 40 hours with overtime and medical, dental and eye insurance for less than what i was paying for just health at ***************. Plus, I have been around that plant since I was in diapers- I use to run around on the floor, or in the parking lot racing barefoot with my brother. Or all the times I would spend hours in the cafeteria waiting for my mom to get out of work, digging around the vending machines for extra change.

And my dad said that he was proud of me. Actually he was laughing at me cause I was talking about making chicken parm to bring into work, since now I actually have to make my lunches instead of just munching off stuff at work. I never use to cook, but since I've started living on my own, that is something i have come to enjoy... but he said he was proud of me. And that made me feel good. There are times I wonder if I am making any more progress to becoming more of an adult, or if I am stuck in between that area of adulthood and still dependent on your parents. But I still hate having my parents pay for things that I can pay for myself. I feel like that takes away my independence. And I know that my parents are having hard times themselves; I know they can't help me as much as they want to. It was nice hearing that your parents think that you're doing a good job with your life....

Now off to make dinner for tonight before I head off to sleep for a couple of hours...